You Don't Know Me: TO THE STRONGEST WOMAN I KNOW

STRENGTH IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH OF A WORD TO DESCRIBE YOU. THE DEFINITION OF COURAGE DOESN’T COMPARE TO THE INNER ABILITY OF A POWERFUL SOUL. NOTHING IS MORE PREVALENT THAN THE LOVE OF A MOTHER. LOVE IS NOT EVEN STRONG ENOUGH OF A WORD TO DESCRIBE THE EVERYTHING THAT COMPILES ELIZABETH.

THE MEANING OF THE NAME ELIZABETH MEANS- THE OATH OF FULLNESS OF GOD. YOU MAY BE KNOWN AS BUFFY, BUT YOUR PARENTS WERE SO RIGHT TO NAME YOU SUCH MEANINGFUL NAME. THEY MUST HAVE FELT THAT YOU WOULD BE SO SPIRITUAL, LOVING AND FULL OF GOD.

YOU ARE TRULY ONE OF A KIND MISS BUFFALINA KEVERINA. I KNOW THAT LIFE HAS THROWN US IN TO LEFT FIELD, RIGHT FIELD, CENTER COURT, OFF THE CURB, OVER THE HEDGE AND UNDER THE BRIDGE. BUT WE ALWAYS MANAGE TO FIND THE WAY IN EACH OTHERS HEART.

WE HAVE NEVER PARTED IN THAT MANNER. I THINK OF YOU OFTEN EVEN IF I DON’T SHOW IT. I THINK IT’S SO MUCH EASIER FOR ME TO DISTANCE MYSELF AWAY FROM ALL THE REALITIES OF MY EXISTENCE AT TIMES. IT MAKES IT EASIER TO BE AWAY WHEN I DON’T HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF OF EVERYTHING THAT I’M MISSING. I REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WE WERE INSEPARABLE EVEN THOUGH WE HAD OUR OWN THINGS GOING ON.

I REMEMBER SITTING IN YOUR ROOM SINGING BRANDY AND MONICA’S THE BOY IS MINE, AND ANTHONY HELPING DECIDE WHICH ONE SHOULD SING WHICH PART. I REMEMBER YOU BEING THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT AND WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, DURING A PRETTY DESPERATE AND DIFFICULT TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL LIFE.

I REMEMBER YOU TELLING ME YOU LOVE AND SUPPORT ME NO MATTER WHAT I DECIDED TO DO. I REMEMBER JUMPING ON THE TRAMP AT YOUR MOM AND DADS AND EATING SUNDAY ROAST. I REMEMBER WHEN YOU LEFT COLLEGE TO HEAD BACK HOME AND I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO WITHOUT YOU, EVEN IF I DID HAVE RYAN TO HANG OUT WITH.

I REMEMBER THINKING HOW JEALOUS I WAS OF HOW SUPER SMART AND AMAZING AT EVERYTHING YOU DO. I REMEMBER THINKING THAT WOMAN IS GONNA MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD AND I ONLY HOPE I COULD BE HALF AS GOOD AS HER.

I REMEMBER THINKING HOW INCREDIBLY BRAVE YOU WERE TO MOVE AWAY FROM HOME FOR ANTHONY TO PURSUE COLLEGE IN ANOTHER STATE WITH YOUR LITTLE FAMILY.

I REMEMBER ALWAYS THINKING HOW DID TWO POLAR OPPOSITES BECOME SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, YOU THE OCD NEAT FREAK AND ME THE MESSY STRESS WOMAN.

I REMEMBER ALWAYS BEING ENVIOUS OF YOUR IMPERFECT LIFE, BECAUSE THAT MEANT THAT I HAD A CHANCE TO GET THERE ONE DAY. I REMEMBER THINKING THAT NO MATTER HOW STRONG LOVE IS, SOMETIMES SOMETHINGS BREAK AND NO MATTER WHAT, I WOULD BE THERE FOR YOU TO THE END.

THEN I REMEMBER THINKING, THANK GOD LOVE CAN STAY THE COURSE AND YOU AND ANTHONY ENDURED THROUGH. I’M SO THANKFUL THAT YOU TWO HAVE STAYED THE COURSE. IT MAKES ME BELIEVE IN LOVE AGAIN.

I REMEMBER THAT I RECEIVED THAT ONE CALL THAT CHANGED THE LIVES OF EVERYONE, AND WHEN I MEAN EVERYONE, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN. EVERYONE..KYA EMBODIED THE PURE GRACE OF LOVE, SHE IS A TRUE EXAMPLE OF HEAVEN.

I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT WOMAN. SPEECHLESS, I DON’T THINK I WOULD HAVE EVER BEEN HALF AS STRONG AS YOU WERE DURING THAT DIFFICULT PERIOD, AND I KNOW IT WILL NEVER GET EASIER, IT JUST GETS LESS HARD. I ENVY THAT STRENGTH YOU HAVE. I BROKE DOWN IN A COUNTRY WITH NO ONE TO BE COMFORTED BY AND YET ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS BE THERE WITH YOU.

IT’S KIND OF SELFISH OF ME TO THINK, BUT I JUST WANTED TO BE THERE WHEN YOU WOKE UP AND COMFORT YOU. I KNEW THAT I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR WHAT TO DO AND I KNEW I WOULDN’T NECESSARILY BE THE ONE YOU NEEDED AT THAT MOMENT, BUT I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BE THERE TO HOLD YOUR HAND.

EVEN WHEN I DID GET BACK, I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO ACT, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU PUT ON THIS STRONG FRONT, AND YOU BROKE DOWN VERY SUBTLE TO ME. I’M NOT EVEN SURE IF YOU AND I HAVE HAD OUR ULTIMATE MELTDOWN YET. I CAN TELL YOU THIS; I’M DOING A PRETTY GOOD JOB OF THAT MELT DOWN AS I WRITE THIS.

I LOVE YOU WOMAN, YOU REALLY ARE MY HERO. I KNOW THAT WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHER THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE. WHAT WILL CHANGE, AND THERE IS NO IF AND BUTS ABOUT IT. DINNER EVERY OTHER WEEK AT EACH OTHER’S HOUSES. WE WILL DO THIS. MAYBE IT’S ME BEING SELFISH, BUT I NEED IT. I NEED YOU.

I HOPE YOU HAVE THE MOST SPECIAL DAY TODAY. I KNOW CHRISTMAS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT KYA, BUT SHE IS THERE SMILING OVER YOU ALL. SHE SENT YOU A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE MAN THAT I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET. HE TRULY HAS A BIT OF HER IN HIM; I CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES.