I'm feeling U2 Today

I am in one of those amazing moods that trigger the writing beast. The only problem with the writing beast is that it is completely uncontrollable and I may just spew out rambling thoughts. Which for most of you that know me pretty much understand that it is completely normal? Today I woke up in a determined mood to just wake up and eat a waffle. Pretty simple nothing crazy to it, but determined I was. You see I could have totally slept in and just savored the slow to get up day, but part of me did not want to waste the day as we so often do on our days off. The fresh juice and waffle put me in a simple kind of mood that translated into having a U2 kind of day.

 

I have always loved the band U2 and I believe that no matter what song, anyone can put certain things in their life in perspective just by listening.

 

I have found plenty of inspiration from many musical geniuses, I mean Bono says it as clear as can be: Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief. All kill their inspiration and sing about their grief

 

Isn’t that so true? Don’t we all do that? we hear a particular song and it takes us back to a memory. More times than not, it reminds us of the memories we don’t always want to remember.

We have glances at the memories that are everlasting though, we get to keep those private, secluded, and maybe that is why they are not always so prevalent to anyone else. Those are the memories that matter the most. Not the memories that we thought would ever define us, we do that on our own. No matter where you are in life you will always get through.  if you are holding on to a hope, then you truly aren't living for you.  I know that i will get through my life with or without you. (whoever that you may be) and i will be far better than before knowing that i can do anything i want to without the limitations of myself or anyone else. 

One of the greatest songs written was “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” it depicts such a beautiful message of love, but not just love. It is about the courage to find love, digging deep to find what you’re looking for.

It doesn’t have to be the love for your Soul mate, it’s so powerful to the message of love, that it can represent so many loves. Searching for the love of God, searching for the love of another, searching for the love of forgiveness,

regardless it’s so meaningful to so many people, because they will always be looking for that one thing that they haven’t found.

 “One love but were not the same, we get to carry each other, carry each other.”

If you dig into the humanity aspect of life, you could easily relate to the song “One,” to acknowledging that we are more than just a number, We may not be the same, but we can be there for each other no matter what. Others can relate it to a loved one within a loss or broken heart. Whatever the interpretation is, I feel like it is just a poetic way of saying, we need to stick together and fight for what we want within each other.

You can look at it a couple of different ways, you can be separate like a finger or together like a hand.

I used to be so in love with the song “ A man and a woman,” it helped me get through the questions about love and loss, but also made me come to the conclusion that, “

You can run from love
And if it's really love it will find you
Catch you by the heel
But you can't be numb for love
The only pain is to feel nothing at all
When the soul wants the Soul waits

 

I love those words, if you really think about it, love works in mysterious ways and always catches you off guard. You never really can expect the unexpected no matter how much you want to prepare yourself.

Which is why I have probably been single for almost 4 years now, I guess I am just not ready for anything to come along yet. (However, if you do in fact know who my Mr. Bizarro Reality Just Right For Hayley is, could you please guide him a little faster in my direction, I’m pretty sure, it’s time for me.)

 

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been,
A place that has to be believed to be seen."
- Walk On

These past couple of years has been struggles for many, a struggle to love, a struggle just to get by, a struggle to survive or in just one word: live. I have seen my fair share of loved ones leave unexpectedly and it never gets easier to deal with. I feel for every person who has lost a loved one this year or any year for that matter.

I will always cherish the big Teddy bears, that gave everyone significant love and was the kindest of bears (TJ) I will never forget my goofy dance moves of pure entertainment with my always wanna be boyfriend Tony. I will never forget the voice that carried the wings of angels that Lisa could project. I will never forget the sacrifices that my Military friends gave, the love they had for their country and the camaraderie that they built. (Denz, Lardy, Stewart) I will never forget my Italian Bro, the only person to read my book front to back and give me so much shit, because he didn’t understand the humor of Americans. I will never forget his amazing smile and the way he made me laugh. (Andrea Coppa)

 

Some things happen unexpectedly, some happen with no warning and some can be seen miles away, and yet we still cannot prevent the loss of those around us. Life is way too short, tomorrow is never promised and people will leave without notice. I have never felt so disconnected from my friends at a time of loss then I have felt being this far away. I have never felt loss so close to me as I have felt here in Kosovo. Although you can’t help those who chose to end their own life, you can’t help but wonder what could I have done to help this.

In reality there often isn’t much that you can do to prevent the decision someone makes in the end. All we can do is love them through their pain and make them realize that life will get better. Love them through their wounds, be there for them, LISTEN to them while actually hearing what they say. Be the Friend, the lover, the companion of their safekeeping. Be THERE; simply be THERE.

I will never fully understand the choices some of my dear friends made, but I will make sure to continue to love them through their pain in the hereafter. I will always think of my free birds with a smile and not a frown, because no matter how they left this world, whether by the hands of god or the hands of themselves. they will never leave my heart.

"Grace, she's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside of karma
She travels outside of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear her strings
Grace finds beauty in everything"- I love this song

 

I remember listening to the album “How to dismantle an Atomic Bomb,” when the album first came out in Nov 2004. I remember that album pretty good, I remember that a pretty cool guy named Ben bought me the album and gave it to me on November 30^th, when he gave it to me he said Happy November 30^th. For no other reason than to give me a gift of music,

it was of the most memorable gifts I have ever received. I believe that I hold it near and dear to my heart for not only the gesture, but also where I first listened to the song “Grace”I instantly fell in love with the idea of the word Grace.

I decided that if I were to ever have a daughter I would put Grace somewhere in her name. The lyrics are so descriptive of a beautiful word, an action, a gesture, a name of girl. It is so profound, amazing, and perfect for the little woman that would come into my life. I knew that the song would change my life, and it has indeed succeeded in being a foundation for the existence of love within a child.

Regardless of the mood, you are in. Regardless of the demeanor in which you choice to be today, Regardless if you have had one hell of a day, remember that you are in the presence of that day, and my hell, what a beautiful day it is.. Think about it. Beauty surrounds all of us all the time; we may not see it, if we chose to be blinded by the haze. Appreciate the little things, live for all the moments no matter how small or exaggerated it is. Live for you. In the words of u2:

It was a beautiful day
Beautiful day
don’t let it get away

Touch me, take me to that other place
Reach me, I know

I'm not a hopeless case