Man Get your S&*t together

ALRIGHT, HERE WE GO.  MAN DON’T I WISH YOU WOULD PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOU KNOW WHERE AND GET YOUR SH@& TOGETHER…………..

HAVE YOU EVER JUST SAT AND REALLY THOUGHT TO YOURSELF THAT YOU COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO SOMEONE ELSE, I MEAN REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO IMPACT THE LIFE OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. 

 NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY THOUGH, IT’S UP TO THE PERSON TO PLAY THEIR OWN CARDS RIGHT AND FIGURE THEIR LIVES OUT ON THEIR OWN. IT’S SUCH A FRUSTRATING EXPERIENCE TO GIVE ALL OF YOU TO HAVE IT JUST KINDA THROWN AWAY. 


HERE’S THE THING THOUGH, ITS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE.  MAYBE THE PERSON YOUR TRYING TO SAVE IS JUST A PIECE OF A PUZZLE
THAT HAS TOO MANY PIECES TO PICK UP.

  MAYBE THAT PERSON YOU ARE TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO IS EXTREMELY DEAF TO THE ECHOING WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT.  MAYBE THAT PERSON IS SO BLIND TO SEE THE ARMS REACHING OUT TO CATCH THEM WHEN THEY FALL.  MAYBE THAT PERSON IS SO FAR GONE FROM REALITY THAT THEY CAN’T IMAGINE ANYONE WOULD ATTEMPT TO SAVE THEIR  UNREALITY. 

MAYBE THEIR SCARED, MAYBE THEIR NOT, MAYBE THEY ARE WEAK, MAYBE THEY ARE SO FAR GONE, THAT IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO, BECAUSE WHAT REALLY NEEDS TO HAPPEN CAN ONLY OCCUR WHEN THEY DECIDE. 


WHO REALLY KNOWS, MAYBE THEY JUST DON’T GIVE A SH@&.  WELL MAYBE I’M SICK OF GIVING A SH@&.  I’M SICK OF STANDING BY AND WATCHING A PERSON KILL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE STUCK.  LIFE SUCKS, IT’S HARD, LOVING SOMEONE IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL, BUT NOT AS PAINFUL AS WATCHING SOMEONE DIE IN FRONT OF YOU AND KNOWING THAT IT’S SELF INFLICTED. 

 ADDICTION OR NOT, MAN GET YOUR SH@$ TOGETHER. 

THIS AIN'T NO GLAMOROUS HOLLYWOOD TV SHOW,
THIS IS REAL LIFE

 

TATTOO’S ARE SIGNIFICANT FOR CERTAIN REASONS.  MY VERY FIRST TATTOO WAS A SIMPLE REMINDER OF A CHILDHOOD MEMORY.  NOT MANY PEOPLE CARE TO ASK WHY I GOT A FROG, THEY JUST THINK IT’S MY FAVORITE LITTLE GREEN THING.  I GOT THAT TATTOO, BECAUSE YES I LOVE FROGS FOR SOME REASON, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY I GOT THAT TATTOO BECAUSE I USED TO TEASE MY OLDER BROTHER ALL THE TIME BY CHASING HIM WITH FROGS. 





HE HATED IT, HE WOULD RUN AROUND LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.  I GOT THAT TATTOO TO BE REMINDED THAT ONCE UPON A TIME MY BROTHER WAS JUST A KID AND DIDN’T FEEL LIKE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD WAS ON HIS SHOULDERS.  I GOT THAT TATTOO BECAUSE HE REMINDED ME THAT BEING A KID WAS SUCH A BLAST.  NO MATTER HOW RIDICULOUS ARE CHILDHOOD COULD HAVE TURNED OUT, IT MADE US DECIDE WHO WE WANTED TO BE IN THE END, AND I THINK AT SOME POINT HE LOST HIMSELF. 

I FORGET WHEN IT WAS THAT HE STARTED TO DISAPPEAR BUT EVER SINCE ALL I HAVE DONE IS WATCH HIM FADE MORE AND MORE.  I GOT THAT TATTOO SO I COULD REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN WE WERE BROTHER AND SISTER AND NOT A REMINDER OF the HARD TIMEs. 

 

FYI, I AM COMPLETELY WEIRDED OUT BY THE FACT THAT I CHOSE TO WRITE ABOUT MY FAMILY, LET ALONE ABOUT MY BROTHER.  MAYBE mE WRITING ABOUT MY BROTHER, MY OTHER BROTHER WILL UNDERSTAND WHY NEVER GIVING UP ON THE IMPORTANT THINGS WILL HELP HIM FIND HIS WAY BACK TO REALITY.  HOPEFULLY WITHOUT HIM BEING MAD AT ME EITHER. 

 

REGARDLESS, IT’S A LITTLE DIFFICULT TO BE AWAY FROM THE TRIGGERS THAT MAKE PEOPLE WHO THEY ARE.  I REALIZE THAT I CAN NOT CONTROL THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF MY CONTROL, AND BECAUSE I KNOW THAT, I STILL WANT TO DO ALL I CAN.

  I CAN’T HELP IT THAT MY FAMILY IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THaN OTHERS, HOWEVER WHAT FAMILY IS PERFECT. 



 I CAN’T HELP THAT SOME FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE DIFFERENT PRIORITIES IN LIFE TO FOCUS ON, AND ALTHOUGH IT’S NOT A REASON OR AN EXCUSE TO BE LESS THAN CARING, IT JUST MIGHT BE HOW SOMEONE MIGHT FEEL. 

I REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WOULD GATHER AND HAVE BIG CELEBRATIONS, AND I FELT LIKE MY FAMILY WAS HUGE. 

 I REALIZE THAT PEOPLE GROWN UP AND APART, BUT LOVE IS ALWAYS EXISTENT.  I GREW UP WITH ONLY 1 HALF OF MY FAMILY CLEARLY BECAUSE OF THE OCEAN BETWEEN US.  Literally

BUT AS I GREW I BEGAN TO SEE THE FAMILIES FADING AND GROWING APART, AND FYI, NOT ALWAYS WAS IT BECAUSE OF THE DISTANCE.  IT WAS PROBABLY BECAUSE ITS EASIER TO NOT DEAL WITH FAMILY ISSUES.  WHO KNOWS. 


MY MUM HAS always BEEN THE ONE CONSTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE, ALWAYS. 

EVEN WITH THE DISTANCE, SHE MADE HER LOVE STRETCH AND IF YOU KNOW MY MUM, YOU KNOW SHE IS VERY STUBBORN WITH HER LOVE AND IS VERY PROTECTIVE OF IT. 


 YOU KNOW SHE DOESN’T LIKE TO BE SMOTHERED WITH CUPBOARD LOVE AS SHE CALLS IT.  BUT SEEING HER WITH MY DAUGHTER IS A VERY UNIQUE EXPERIENCE, SHE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND IT MAKES ME APPRECIATE HER EVEN MORE. 

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT SHE IS FEELING WHEN SHE SEEs HER CHILDREN STRUGGLE, SHE HATES IT, SHE FEELS LIKE SHE HAS FAILED IN THIS CRAZY WORLD.  WHAT ? INSANE WOMAN, COMPLETELY INSANE TO THINK THAT YOU FAILED AS A PARENT BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES YOUR CHILDREN MAKE. 


YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED BECAUSE YOU GRADUATED FROM MOMMY, TO MOM, TO MOTHER AND IT’S THE MOTHER INSIDE OF YOU THAT FEELS LIKE YOU DIDN’T SUCCEED, WELL THAT’S COMPLETE NONSENSE.  LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE WOMAN, LOOK AT THE AMAZING THINGS IN FRONT OF YOU. 


NOT ALL SMALL SUCCESSES ARE NOTICED BECAUSE SOME DARK DECISIONS MIGHT  OVER Shadow YOUr ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 

  LISTEN I’M HEAR TO TELL YOU THAT NO MATTER WHAT MISTAKES YOU MAKE IN LIFE AND BOY HAVE I MADE PLENTY, THERE IS ALWAYS A LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE THAT CAN CAST OVER ANY SHADOW ANY DAY.

 

WHICH IS WHY MICHAEL JOHN, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, SO EVERYONE ELSE CAN STOP FEELING LIKE THEY HAVE FAILED YOU IN SOME WAY. 

 You NEED TO PROVE TO EVERYONE THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR OWN LOVE.


 


YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOUR SELF. 


MOM AND DAD DESERVE BETTER AND HONESTLY SO DO EVERAndrew AND I.  AND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THOSE AMAZING KIDS DESERVE BETTER,

SO LIKE I'VE SAID TIME AND TIME AGAIN, MAN GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.  I’M SICK OF WATCHING YOU DIE.!!!!!!!!!!

 

EVeRAndrew DON’T LET YOUR SHIT GET OUT OF HAND, PICK YOURSELF UP AND BE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Happy Hallow of the Eve.

 

IT’S FASCINATING THAT WE CAN PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WE AREN’T ON ONE DAY OF THE YEAR, HOWEVER SO MANY OF US ACTUALLY DO THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS. 

 

I FIND HALLOWEEN TO BE SO INTERESTING.  I THINK AS A KID, I DIDN’T REALLY GET TOO MUCH INTO ANY ONE COSTUME CRAZE.  HONESTLY, WE WERE BROKE, SO PUNK ROCKER OR BUMS WERE REGULAR COSTUMES FOR MY BROTHERS AND ME.  HOWEVER, NO MATTER WHAT, WE WERE HAPPY AT THE END OF OUR KNOCKING ON DOORS JOURNEY BECAUSE WE HAD THE CANDY. 

 

THEN THERE CAME A POINT WHEN WE WERE TOO OLD TO TRICK OR TREAT, SO INSTEAD WE STILL DRESS UP AND ACT LIKE JACKASSes WITH OUR HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS.  OH TO BE A KID AGAIN.  I BELIEVE THAT MY DAUGHTER HAS A UNIQUE SENSE OF WHO SHE IS AND I BELIEVE THAT SHE IS VERY AMUSED BY THIS HOLDIAY CALLED HALLOWEEN. 

 

I BET YOU I COULD ASK HER WHAT HER FAVORITE HOLIDAY IS AND WITHOUT HER REALLY KNOWING WHAT THE HELL YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT SHE WOULD TELL YOU; THE HOLIDAY WHERE YOU CAN DRESS UP IN WHATEVER YOU WANTED TO BE.

 

 

 YOU SEE MY DAUGHTER IS VERY CREATIVE WITH HER WORDS and ACTIONS. SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS.  SHE IS VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS AND NOT ABOUT OTHER THINGS.

 

 

SHE LOVES TIM BURTON AND DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IT.  SHE HAS ALWAYS LOVE THE SILLY SCARY KID MOVIES THAT HE DOES.  SOME KIDS MIGHT BE FRIGHTENED BY THOSE SOMEWHAT MORBID IMAGES AND YET SHE LAUGHS, DANCES AROUND AND SINGS THIS IS HALLOWEEN AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS. 

 

THERE ARE TIMES HOWEVER THAT EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN’T ACT SCARED ABOUT WHAT SHE SEE’S HER MIND TELLS HER SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, WHEN SHE IS TRYING TO CRAWL INTO HER DADDY’S BED.  THANK YOU EDWARD SCISSORHANDS.  SHE LOVES THE MOVIE WHILE WATCHING IT, BUT I GUESS NOT SO MUCH WHEN SHE IS SLEEPING.

 

 SHE HAS THE ABILITY TO LOOK AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY.  AS IF THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH WATCHING A MOVIE ABOUT A KID WHO SEE’S DEAD PEOPLE AND LAUGHS WHEN A SCARY GHOST COMES FLYING OUT OF THE SHEETS FROM A MOVIE TRAILER (DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK) 

 

 I APPRECIATE THE VALUE OF MY DAUGHTER BEING ABLE TO DECIDE WHAT SHE LIKES WITHOUT BEING TOLD WHAT TO LIKE.

 

 SHE IS SUCH A DISNEY PRINCESS WHO LOVES SKULLS AND MONSTER HIGH DOLLS.  I THINK HER DAD AND I HAVE DONE RIGHT BY THIS LITTLE ONE IN ALLOWING HER TO EXPRESS HER INTERESTS.

 

 I WISH I HAD THAT ABILITY TO APPRECIATE THINGS A FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE MORE AS A CHILD, I THINK I JUST LOOKED AT THINGS KINDA FROM A BENT ANGLE AND DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE OF BEING AN INDIVIDUAL TILL I WAS IN MY TEENS. 

 

 HALLOWEEN HAS BEEN INTERESTING THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS SINCE TUCKER HAS BEEN MORE AND MORE INVOLVED IN BEING WHAT SHE WANTS TO BE. 

 

I WISH I WAS THERE TO TAKE HER TRICK OR TREATING THIS YEAR, BUT I HAVE GOOD FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT SPEND THAT TIME WITH HER AND TAKE HER AROUND TO DIFFERENT PLACES TO SMILE CANDY OUT OF PEOPLE. 

 

SHE WILL HAVE THE BEST TIME NO MATTER
WHO TAKES HER DOOR TO DOOR.  SHE HAS BEEN A LADY BUG, WITCH, SNOW WHITE, BELLE, A FAIRY, RAPUNZEL, AND THIS YEAR SHE IS LAGUNA BLUE FROM MONSTER HIGH.

 

 I FEEL LIKE IT WAS JUST YESTERDAY WHEN WE WERE PUTTING A LITTLE LADY BUG COSTUME ON HER.  SO

CRAZY HOW TIME FLY'S BY. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT SHE WILL BE NEXT YEAR. 

AS AN ADULT, I HAVE HAD SOME INTERESTING HALLOWEEN EXPERIENCES.  I LOVE BEING ABLE TO GET A LITTLE SILLY WITH COSTUMES, AND THIS YEAR IS NO DIFFERENT. 

 

 

THIS COSTUME IS NOT MY IDEA BUT IT WORKS AND IT WILL BE AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT. 

 

HELL I WONDER WHAT I WILL BE NEXT YEAR.  MAYBE TUCKER AND I WILL GO AS SOME CRAZY WITCHES TOGETHER.  WHO KNOW’S. 

I THINK THE BEST PART ABOUT BEING SOMEONE DIFFERENT FOR THE DAY; IT ALLOWS YOU TO APPRECIATE WHO YOU REALLY ARE. 

 

 

IT REMINDS YOU THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY BETTER THAN THE HALLOWEEN VERSION OF YOU. 

YOU ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN THE MAKE-UP YOU GLOB ON YOUR FACE.

 I ALSO THINK IT’S SO INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT CHARACTERS PEOPLE CHOICE TO BE.

 

 IT KINDA MAKES YOU SEE A GLIMPSE INTO THEIR LITTLE ALTER EGO.  SOMETIMES IT IS BEST TO NOT KNOW.

 

HALLOWEEN IS SUCH A MAGICAL TIME TO BE CREATIVE AND UNIQUE, AND DIFFERENT.  BUT WHAT IF YOU ALREADY ARE?  IN THIS CASE ALL I WANNA BE FOR HALLOWEEN IS EVERYTHING TO MY CREATIVE, UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT CHILD.  THE WAY IS SEE IT, I HAVE THE BEST LITTLE MONSTER ANYONE COULD ASK FOR, I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHAT 5 YEAR OLD YOU KNOW RUNS AROUND ON A SOCCER FIELD WITH HER EYES CLOSED AND HER ARMS SPREAD LIKE WINGS ENJOYING THE SUN AND BEING EXACTLY WHO SHE IS MEANT TO BE..........

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE, KEEP IT REAL AND KEEP IT SAFE. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE little THINGS

I remember when I felt alive and renewed and loved.  I remember a time when I thought about something other than stressful things.  I remember a time when it was so easy to forgive and forget and you could go about your business minding everyone Else's.  I remember a time when I didn't worry about everything.  Here's the problem, when did I remember these times?  I can't remember, I just know that in my bones I was once young enough to understand that I didn't have the whole world on my Shoulders.  Can I please go back to those unmemorable day's? I just want to be less than what I am now so I can remember the Little Things.  When did we stop being nice to each other?  When did we think it was OK to pretend to like someone? 

When did you decide that you were better than anyone else?  When did you lose yourself to giving in?  Why is it, that we have forgotten who we are suppose to be?  Why can't we remember that we all have our issues, we all have our own insecurities, our own pain, our own love?  Why do you think you have any business in peddling in the lives of others?  Who gives you that right?  Can't you remember what its like to smell the flowers, say hello to a stranger, acknowledge someone with your eyes and not just your words. 

 

 

Don't you realize that the little things mean the most?  The genuine laugh of a child, the sign of relief from a hard workout complete, the smell of pine sol in your clean kitchen, the sound of silence after the loudest play date ever, the smell of homemade Lasagna baked just right and perfect, the coolness of a soft breeze. 

 

Listening to Stevie Nicks on one of those day's you just need to hear a haunting voice of familiarity.  Why must we get so wrapped up in the in between and forget about the simple little things that teach us how to be humane.  Really humane, like the kind that reminds you that it doesn't matter who you are, where you are from, what you look like, you are perfect just how you are. 

 

 

I think a lot, and when I think a lot, I forget to write things down, I get distracted in the emptiness of unimportance, I get so wrapped up in the ugliness of petty people, I get wrapped up in the stupidest of dumbness.  I forget who I am, I forget that I'm not perfect.

 

 

I forget that I'm just the same as all of the ugly rapture that becomes us, when we let others affect us. We let them effect everything that makes us who we are.  I'm sick of letting someone else effect me.  I want to be better than them.  I want to remember that the little things make me embrace the beauty, grace and simplicity of life. 

 

 

I want to remember that the goal is within reach and it's just a matter of waking up.  Waking up to the reality, that confines us, the reality that makes us believe we aren't good.  I want to WAKE UP from this unreality. 

 

I am stronger, faster, better and more valuable than I lead myself to believe.  What doesn't bring me to a level of weakness will only provide me with the imagination to succeed.  However, this imagination is by far better then unreality.  My reality is a beautiful Bizarro world that I will have one day, simply because I remembered the Little Things.