You Don't Know Me: Man Get your S&*t together

ALRIGHT, HERE WE GO. MAN DON’T I WISH YOU WOULD PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOU KNOW WHERE AND GET YOUR SH@& TOGETHER…………..

HAVE YOU EVER JUST SAT AND REALLY THOUGHT TO YOURSELF THAT YOU COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO SOMEONE ELSE, I MEAN REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO IMPACT THE LIFE OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY THOUGH, IT’S UP TO THE PERSON TO PLAY THEIR OWN CARDS RIGHT AND FIGURE THEIR LIVES OUT ON THEIR OWN. IT’S SUCH A FRUSTRATING EXPERIENCE TO GIVE ALL OF YOU TO HAVE IT JUST KINDA THROWN AWAY.

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH, ITS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE. MAYBE THE PERSON YOUR TRYING TO SAVE IS JUST A PIECE OF A PUZZLE
THAT HAS TOO MANY PIECES TO PICK UP.

MAYBE THAT PERSON YOU ARE TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO IS EXTREMELY DEAF TO THE ECHOING WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. MAYBE THAT PERSON IS SO BLIND TO SEE THE ARMS REACHING OUT TO CATCH THEM WHEN THEY FALL. MAYBE THAT PERSON IS SO FAR GONE FROM REALITY THAT THEY CAN’T IMAGINE ANYONE WOULD ATTEMPT TO SAVE THEIR UNREALITY.

MAYBE THEIR SCARED, MAYBE THEIR NOT, MAYBE THEY ARE WEAK, MAYBE THEY ARE SO FAR GONE, THAT IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO, BECAUSE WHAT REALLY NEEDS TO HAPPEN CAN ONLY OCCUR WHEN THEY DECIDE.

WHO REALLY KNOWS, MAYBE THEY JUST DON’T GIVE A SH@&. WELL MAYBE I’M SICK OF GIVING A SH@&. I’M SICK OF STANDING BY AND WATCHING A PERSON KILL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE STUCK. LIFE SUCKS, IT’S HARD, LOVING SOMEONE IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL, BUT NOT AS PAINFUL AS WATCHING SOMEONE DIE IN FRONT OF YOU AND KNOWING THAT IT’S SELF INFLICTED.

ADDICTION OR NOT, MAN GET YOUR SH@$ TOGETHER.

THIS AIN'T NO GLAMOROUS HOLLYWOOD TV SHOW,
THIS IS REAL LIFE

TATTOO’S ARE SIGNIFICANT FOR CERTAIN REASONS. MY VERY FIRST TATTOO WAS A SIMPLE REMINDER OF A CHILDHOOD MEMORY. NOT MANY PEOPLE CARE TO ASK WHY I GOT A FROG, THEY JUST THINK IT’S MY FAVORITE LITTLE GREEN THING. I GOT THAT TATTOO, BECAUSE YES I LOVE FROGS FOR SOME REASON, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY I GOT THAT TATTOO BECAUSE I USED TO TEASE MY OLDER BROTHER ALL THE TIME BY CHASING HIM WITH FROGS.

HE HATED IT, HE WOULD RUN AROUND LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. I GOT THAT TATTOO TO BE REMINDED THAT ONCE UPON A TIME MY BROTHER WAS JUST A KID AND DIDN’T FEEL LIKE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD WAS ON HIS SHOULDERS. I GOT THAT TATTOO BECAUSE HE REMINDED ME THAT BEING A KID WAS SUCH A BLAST. NO MATTER HOW RIDICULOUS ARE CHILDHOOD COULD HAVE TURNED OUT, IT MADE US DECIDE WHO WE WANTED TO BE IN THE END, AND I THINK AT SOME POINT HE LOST HIMSELF.

I FORGET WHEN IT WAS THAT HE STARTED TO DISAPPEAR BUT EVER SINCE ALL I HAVE DONE IS WATCH HIM FADE MORE AND MORE. I GOT THAT TATTOO SO I COULD REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN WE WERE BROTHER AND SISTER AND NOT A REMINDER OF the HARD TIMEs.

FYI, I AM COMPLETELY WEIRDED OUT BY THE FACT THAT I CHOSE TO WRITE ABOUT MY FAMILY, LET ALONE ABOUT MY BROTHER. MAYBE mE WRITING ABOUT MY BROTHER, MY OTHER BROTHER WILL UNDERSTAND WHY NEVER GIVING UP ON THE IMPORTANT THINGS WILL HELP HIM FIND HIS WAY BACK TO REALITY. HOPEFULLY WITHOUT HIM BEING MAD AT ME EITHER.

REGARDLESS, IT’S A LITTLE DIFFICULT TO BE AWAY FROM THE TRIGGERS THAT MAKE PEOPLE WHO THEY ARE. I REALIZE THAT I CAN NOT CONTROL THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF MY CONTROL, AND BECAUSE I KNOW THAT, I STILL WANT TO DO ALL I CAN.

I CAN’T HELP IT THAT MY FAMILY IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THaN OTHERS, HOWEVER WHAT FAMILY IS PERFECT.

I CAN’T HELP THAT SOME FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE DIFFERENT PRIORITIES IN LIFE TO FOCUS ON, AND ALTHOUGH IT’S NOT A REASON OR AN EXCUSE TO BE LESS THAN CARING, IT JUST MIGHT BE HOW SOMEONE MIGHT FEEL.

I REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WOULD GATHER AND HAVE BIG CELEBRATIONS, AND I FELT LIKE MY FAMILY WAS HUGE.

I REALIZE THAT PEOPLE GROWN UP AND APART, BUT LOVE IS ALWAYS EXISTENT. I GREW UP WITH ONLY 1 HALF OF MY FAMILY CLEARLY BECAUSE OF THE OCEAN BETWEEN US. Literally

BUT AS I GREW I BEGAN TO SEE THE FAMILIES FADING AND GROWING APART, AND FYI, NOT ALWAYS WAS IT BECAUSE OF THE DISTANCE. IT WAS PROBABLY BECAUSE ITS EASIER TO NOT DEAL WITH FAMILY ISSUES. WHO KNOWS.

MY MUM HAS always BEEN THE ONE CONSTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE, ALWAYS.

EVEN WITH THE DISTANCE, SHE MADE HER LOVE STRETCH AND IF YOU KNOW MY MUM, YOU KNOW SHE IS VERY STUBBORN WITH HER LOVE AND IS VERY PROTECTIVE OF IT.

YOU KNOW SHE DOESN’T LIKE TO BE SMOTHERED WITH CUPBOARD LOVE AS SHE CALLS IT. BUT SEEING HER WITH MY DAUGHTER IS A VERY UNIQUE EXPERIENCE, SHE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND IT MAKES ME APPRECIATE HER EVEN MORE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT SHE IS FEELING WHEN SHE SEEs HER CHILDREN STRUGGLE, SHE HATES IT, SHE FEELS LIKE SHE HAS FAILED IN THIS CRAZY WORLD. WHAT ? INSANE WOMAN, COMPLETELY INSANE TO THINK THAT YOU FAILED AS A PARENT BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES YOUR CHILDREN MAKE.

YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED BECAUSE YOU GRADUATED FROM MOMMY, TO MOM, TO MOTHER AND IT’S THE MOTHER INSIDE OF YOU THAT FEELS LIKE YOU DIDN’T SUCCEED, WELL THAT’S COMPLETE NONSENSE. LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE WOMAN, LOOK AT THE AMAZING THINGS IN FRONT OF YOU.

NOT ALL SMALL SUCCESSES ARE NOTICED BECAUSE SOME DARK DECISIONS MIGHT OVER Shadow YOUr ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

LISTEN I’M HEAR TO TELL YOU THAT NO MATTER WHAT MISTAKES YOU MAKE IN LIFE AND BOY HAVE I MADE PLENTY, THERE IS ALWAYS A LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE THAT CAN CAST OVER ANY SHADOW ANY DAY.